Judaism

Judaism (Christianity sans Jesus) started in the beginning of time, when Adam and Eve created Madison Square Garden in seven days.  The faith has produced some of history's most important people, including Moses, Jesus, and economist Alan Greenspan.

Members of the Jewish faith take pride in their first claim to the Bible, in which the Old Testament preceded the New Testament, much in the same way that the Boston Celtics dynasty preceded the Chicago Bulls dynasty.

Pros:

• Kosher's Best Hot Dogs
• Sandy Koufax
• Heaven

Cons:

• Marginally cool presents
• Lack of irrelevant cartoon characters in its holidays
• Hell