Slammin' Sammy and the Big Unit 

First off, Sammy Sosa is about to go on the disabled list with a sprained ligament in his back. He sprained the ligament while having a good sneeze. This makes me a little worried. How can somebody sprain a ligament while SNEEZING? How can a highly-conditioned professional athlete, whose body is his livelihood, hurt himself while sneezing? Really? This makes me incredibly worried, not just for the Cubbies and their anemic offense, and for myself. If Sammy Sosa can hurt himself in such a ridiculous manner, surely I have no hope. I figure I have one good year left, and then I'll be on life's DL. Just kidding. I hope.

But then, last night, Randy Johnson pitched a perfect game. Not one man from the other team reached base. Incredible. It was, I believe, the 17th perfect game in major league history. That's 17 in more than one hundred years of baseball. Perfect games are rare. Really rare. In fact, I think the only thing that is less common in baseball is an unassisted triple play, of which I think there have been three in baseball history.

Not only that, Johnson accomplished the feat at the ripe old age of 40. This gives me a little hope. Johnson pitches perfect games at 40, but Sosa hurts himself while sneezing at 35. It's really the luck of the draw, eh?